


i know you too well

by lynnkun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Also two named people not from the show, Angst, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, M/M, Underage Drug Use, Underage Sex, Unsafe Sex, a few other characters get mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:00:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26400796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynnkun/pseuds/lynnkun
Summary: In retrospect, it's dumb. It's only a practice match and he shouldn't be working this hard to keep up the ball. But he has a point to prove to Kageyama and Hinata.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> there is definitely some triggering themes in this fanfiction, most of them come up in the second chapter. dont read if it might be triggering to you!

Oikawa dedicated most of his time at Aoba Johsai preparing to beat Shiratorizawa, and eventually Kageyama. Now in his third year, he has to face both of those opponents in his struggle to get to nationals.

Iwaizumi tries to convince Oikawa not to work so hard. Tells him that injuring himself or passing out from exhaustion will hurt the team more than anything. But none of that matters, because Oikawa can't slow down. He'll never keep up with Ushijima and Kageyama if he doesn't practice as much as possible.

Of course, the universe has never been on Oikawa's side. After a knee injury right before his third year, things became more difficult for him. Seemingly, he was fully recovered; but as Oikawa trains hard for the Miyagi Prefecture Inter-High qualifiers, he's putting more strain on it than ever before.

He considers telling Iwaizumi, but that would probably have him benched for the next couple practices. He might even get sent to the athletic trainer for a long term medical suspension.

So telling Iwaizumi is impossible. Honestly, Oikawa can't really tell anyone. He's left to figure this out himself; without sacrificing practice time or letting his team down.

That's why Oikawa is here right now. Behind the school, with no one around. The rain is pouring down on him; he thinks how he should have listened when Iwaizumi told him to bring an umbrella this morning.

A group of boys approach Oikawa, and he waves with one hand, the other in his pocket. They definitely look like... delinquents to say the least. Oikawa can't say he knows many people like this. He found out about them from Kyotani, the second year he's been trying to recruit back onto the team. He doesn't seem like the type to gossip or snitch, so it was Oikawa's only option.

Very few words are traded between Oikawa and the group of boys. One of them pulls out a plastic bag holding around 10 pills. Opioids. Small, white, and round. 

"Fifty-dollars." The kid says, brows furrowed impatiently. Oikawa quickly reaches into the back pocket of his uniform, pulling out a fifty dollar bill. He hands it to the boy, who snatches it from his hand and then tosses him the bag of pills. Oikawa nervously fumbles with it before catching it.

"See ya later." The boy grunts out before turning and leaving. Oikawa is left to himself, looking down at the bag. All that's left is to, well... take one. He has about 30 minutes until practice, and maybe 10 minutes before Iwaizumi comes looking for him.

Oikawa practically rips open the bag, reaching and grabbing one of the little pills between his thumb and pointer finger. He examines it for a second before impulsively swallowing it. There's no reason to hesitate, he'll just psych himself out and end up flushing the pills when he gets home. There isn't any immediate effect, but Oikawa seals the bag and stashes it in his backpack anyway. He starts to drag himself towards the gym, feeling mildly ashamed.

Part of him feels weak, guilty almost. Guilty that he couldn't be stronger and more reliable for his team. Regardless, he doesn't want to let anyone down, so this is the only way.

Iwaizumi finds Oikawa along the way to the gym, and they walk together to the club room.

“You seem quiet today, Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi huffs, hands in his pockets. Oikawa struggles to put on a smile, turning to Iwaizumi.

"Aww! I knew you cared for me Iwa-chan!" Oikawa cheers.

"As if. You're just as shitty as always."

They banter back and forth before arriving at the club room, at which they fall back into silence as they change. Iwaizumi finishes first, and waits for Oikawa as everyone else in the team filters through the room, eventually all heading to the gym.

"Usually the captain finishes first, Trashykawa." Iwaizumi grumbles, stretching out his arms a bit as he waits.

"Well, I like to take my time! Unlike you and the rest of the heathens on my team, I have an image to uphold. It's not easy being this beautiful, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaims, tying his sneakers and briefly readjusting his shirt before turning to leave the locker room.

Iwaizumi murmurs some unheard words behind Oikawa, likely some barely serious insults. Unsurprisingly, they’re the last ones to arrive to practice. The coach is only just walking in, and most of their teammates are warming up already. Oikawa and Iwaizumi set out to do their own warmups, as they always have since they were little. Soon after, practice begins.

They do some conditioning, then run some drills, and eventually some practice games. They’re 2v2, so Oikawa has to work hard and cover a lot of ground on the court. He feels great, like he's performing the best he has in a while; there’s nothing holding him back.

Frankly, he didn't really remember that he took the pill at first. It isn't until he gets home and rediscovers the pills in his backpack that he remembers. It dampens the high of the practice immediately. A reminder that he wasn't able to do it himself. He tries his best not to feel penitent; on the bright side, at least the pills work. This gives him a new brand of hope to beat Kageyama and Shiratorizawa.

-

A bit over a week later, Oikawa spends 250 dollars to get 50 more pills. He sets a boundary with himself, to only take one pill a day. Right before practice, and that's it. He doesn't need any more than the bare minimum, just enough to get through practice.

It shouldn't be too difficult to handle. Oikawa has already spent so much time playing through the pain. The pills are only an anchor to help him push a little further. Further, so he can make it to nationals.

His teammates and coaches commend him for his new found dedication to practice. He even gets a compliment from Iwaizumi. It feels nice to be stepping up to the plate for the first time in a while.

-

Oikawa doesn't last very long. It's three weeks later during a practice match against Karasuno when his resolve cracks.

"Oikawa, cover!" Hanamaki shouts from across the court. The first receive is off a block, and their libero crashes to the ground to get it up in the air. It shoots to the corner on his side of the court, and no one else is able to receive the ball.

In retrospect, it's dumb. It's only a practice match and he shouldn't be working this hard to keep up the ball. But he has a point to prove to Kageyama and Hinata, Karasuno's first year duo.

He moves quickly and barely reaches as he jumps to connect with the ball before it lands and scores a point for Karasuno. The ball flies center court above the net and Iwaizumi reacts by jumping up to slam it down on the other side of the court. Iwaizumi, so strong and reliable. The point goes to Aoba Johsai, and puts them back into a tie.

Oikawa crashes to the ground, landing awkward on his feet and then smashing his knees into the ground. He can't hold back the yelp of pain that rips through his lungs, and the gym falls silent. The pain starts at his knee and travels all up his leg until it stops at his hip. He tries to get up before Iwaizumi or a coach rushes to his side and helps him up, yanking his pride away.

His knee collapses again under the pressure, so he sits there until someone comes to help. Oikawa focuses his gaze on the floor, refusing to look back at anyone from Karasuno, or even his teammates. That would be the worst of all. Their disappointed faces.

He hadn't realized how much he had zoned out the sound until he heard Iwaizumi shout in his ear.

"Dumbass, why did you go for that ball?! What am I going to do with you!" Iwaizumi grumbles, leaning down and wrapping Oikawa's arm around his shoulders to hoist him up.

Oikawa winces, and tries to lean into Iwaizumi as much as possible to relieve pressure off his knee. 

"How bad is it?" Iwaizumi says, this time quiet and only for him to hear.

"You know I'll be back on the court tomorrow, Iwa-chan." Oikawa says through gritted teeth. The coaches have a few words with him, directing him to go to the medical office with Iwaizumi. Oikawa practically gets carried out of the gym. They head toward the medical office as the doors close behind them. Oikawa's head hangs low.

"Iwa-chan, just take me to the club room." Oikawa mumbles.

Iwaizumi stops abruptly, looking at Oikawa. "Absolutely not! You heard the coaches, we are going to find out whats wrong-"

Oikawa interrupts him, snapping his head up and looking at Iwaizumi wide eyed. "I don't care, Hajime! I'm telling you to take me to the club room, and that's an order from your captain!" His shout rings out in the space around them. His voice fades away and the air between them becomes thick with tension. It’s deathly silent other than the squeaking of sneakers on a gym floor and the sound of a volleyball hitting the ground.

Oikawa rarely talks to him like that, and Iwaizumi looks rightfully pissed off. 

Iwaizumi swallows any words he may have, walking to the club room with the brunette slumped into his side. They don't exchange any more words as Iwaizumi pulls him into the room and sits him on the bench.

"Do you want me to-"

"Leave, Iwa-chan." Oikawa says, voice calm and controlled. He can't dare to make eye contact with Iwaizumi right now, so he keeps his head hung low, looking at his hands clasped together between his throbbing legs.

"Ok. I'll wait for you outside. Don't take too long, trashykawa." Iwaizumi's response is simple, but familiar and calming. Oikawa can't help but smile a little. He doesn't realize he’s crying until a few teardrops land on his hands. Sitting up straight, he wipes the tears away stubbornly.

Oikawa pulls his bag towards his feet and fishes through it until he finds the pill bottle buried at the bottom. It's an older container originally meant to hold allergy medicine. It has five of the small pills inside, since he doesn't like to take a lot around with him. He takes two into his mouth, swallowing them dry. He chokes back the tears and lays his head against the wall behind him, closing and dropping the bottle into his bag.

Oikawa sits there staring at the ceiling for maybe 10 minutes before he tests the pain in his leg by attempting to stand. There's definitely an ache, but it isn't nearly as intense and inhibiting as before. He walks carefully to the door, making sure his face is dry before leaving the room. Iwaizumi is sitting next to the door, back up against the wall and head in his hands. Oikawa only catches a glimpse of him before Iwaizumi turns and looks at Oikawa. Both of their eyes are clearly a bit red, but neither mention it.

Oikawa holds out a hand to help Iwaizumi up, but it goes ignored as Iwaizumi stands up on his own and turns his back to Oikawa. They walk separately and silently back to the gym. Their relationship has always been interesting. Right now, Oikawa knows Iwaizumi isn't mad at him but knows to keep his distance and give him time regardless. Iwaizumi understands and respects Oikawa so he won't meddle in the situation, but he feels guilty that Oikawa feels the need to face this and bear the burden of his injury on his own.

They should talk about it, but not right now; they both understand that as well. The pair cares so deeply for each other, probably more than is normal for best friends. 

-

They lose the practice match against Karasuno. Oikawa tells the coaches he landed hard on the ground and didn't injure himself, not warranting a trip to the medical office or the hospital. Despite this, he spends most of the rest of the match on the bench until a bit at the end, but he can't pull his team together to secure the win. It has a clear effect on their morale, and they all go home upset and disappointed.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi walk home separately, and Oikawa doesn't waste any time face planting onto his bed, falling asleep gross and sweaty, still in his practice clothes.

-

Oikawa starts shredding through his pills. On average, he takes about four a day. It's only been two weeks since the practice game, but he can notice the effect of them weakening, so he just takes more and more. One in the morning, and three before practice. He tried for a bit to stop, to take less. He went to practice without taking any that day, and before he even got the chance to really start, he had to run to the bathroom and vomit. It was a sudden bout of nausea, likely from the withdrawal his body was experiencing.

Oikawa feels a little light headed but manages to make it to the clubroom. He debates taking four pills, but he only has three left. He empties the bottle into his mouth and swallows, feeling a small amount of relief and comfort. He chucks the now empty bottle back in his bag, making a mental reminder to get some more tomorrow before school.

Oikawa hurries back to practice, not wanting to raise suspicions or worry anyone.

-

The next day, Oikawa scrounges up 500 dollars to buy some more pills. He managed 100 out of his dad, and 100 more out of his mom, using the same excuse of needing new volleyball shoes on both of them. The rest is everything he has left of his piggy bank savings. He has to make these pills last until at least the end of Interhigh Qualifiers. From there, he'll figure out what to do.

Oikawa waits in the usual spot as the same group of boys approaches him.

"You got the cash?"

Oikawa nods, handing one of the other boys the money. They quickly count it before nodding to the boy holding the drugs.

"And listen man, I can't keep pushing you this much, so next time talk to my boss. Figure something out with him." The boy grumbles, handing him a small piece of paper with a number on it, as well as the pills, in a bottle this time.

Oikawa has no chance to respond as the boys have already turned and walked away. He shoves the paper in his pocket and opens up the bottle and takes two. He doesn't usually take two in the morning, but he feels a little lightheaded, and his knee has been whining at him all morning. He looks around before shoving the bottle to the bottom of his bag and going to class.

-

It's rare that Iwaizumi reaches out to Oikawa about something. Usually, it's Oikawa complaining to Iwaizumi; sometimes about girls, or volleyball, his parents, the team. Oikawa never stops complaining, and Iwaizumi usually just provides unhelpful commentary and insults him. Today, Iwaizumi calls Oikawa to his home on the rare Saturday without practice. Qualifiers start in a month, so they've been getting a few breaks before they start intense training.

Oikawa lays in Iwaizumi's bed, shirt off with a fan blowing on his back. His face is squished into Iwaizumi's pillow, and his scent fills his nose. Iwaizumi is sitting against the wall on his bed, wearing shorts and a loose tank top. The hot temperature even makes the atmosphere between them a little uncomfortable, and neither really know what to say.

Oikawa figures Iwaizumi will start, considering he asked him to come over with the pretense that he had something to say. Oikawa gets impatient and rolls over, side pressing against Iwaizumi's legs. Oikawa catches sight of Iwaizumi in deep focus, eyes intense. Oikawa raises his eyebrows a little and smiles, poking at Iwaizumi's side.

"Don't you have something to say, Iwa-chan?" Iwaizumi makes eye contact with Oikawa, running his hands through his hair for a second.

"You trust me, right?" Iwaizumi asks.

"Of course! You know you're my best friend in the whole wide world." Oikawa grins.

"And you know I can read you like a book, right?"

"Hm, well you do always say that. I don't know how true that is, Iwa-chan, but you can believe it if it makes you feel better." Oikawa teases.

"I feel like there's something you aren't telling me. Or anyone." Iwaizumi says, knees falling to the side so he's sitting cross legged. Oikawa's eyes widen a bit, but he recovers quickly.

"I don't know what you mean, Iwa-chan." Iwaizumi frowns.

"I think that's bullshit." Clearly, Iwaizumi isn't letting up on this one until Oikawa tells him something. Oikawa feels himself panic a little, not knowing what to say or what to do. Has Iwaizumi figured out his knee is actually injured? Or even worse, that he's taking drugs. It's possible it's something less serious, but it's hard to tell. There is something Oikawa has been hiding for years... but there's no way Iwaizumi is just now picking up on it. Oikawa ponders any other believable things he could confess to Iwaizumi, but doesn't see any other choice in sight.

"I'm in love with you, Iwa-chan." Oikawa says, biting his lip and looking away from Iwaizumi to avoid seeing his reaction.

"Oh." Is the only response from Iwaizumi for about five minutes. Oikawa refuses to look at him as his already flushed face and body from the heat goes even more red.

"That's not what I was expecting." Iwaizumi says eventually. Oikawa was right, Iwaizumi had suspected something else. Hopefully this would be enough to distract him from everything. Oikawa finally looks back at Iwaizumi, and he looks a little confused.

"I'm sorry." Oikawa sits up, face now considerably closer to the man in front of him.

"Don't say that."

"Wh-" Oikawa doesn't get the chance to speak because suddenly Iwaizumi's hand is holding his chin and pulling them closer together. They look each other in the eyes briefly before Iwaizumi's flutter closed and then so do Oikawa's as their lips connect.

It's really intense, but sweet. A lifetime of apparently mutual pining is now colliding. Oikawa thinks for a moment how much harder it will be to keep things from Iwaizumi now, but pushes that down for this moment of happiness. No matter how many times he fails at volleyball and lets people down, at least he is good enough for Iwaizumi.

They pull apart slowly, with wet lips and glazed over eyes. They only make eye contact for a few moments before Iwaizumi is pulling Oikawa into his lap and kissing him again. Oikawa's sweaty skin is pressed up against Iwaizumi in an almost uncomfortable sweaty mess. But in each other, they would always find comfort.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It would hurt both of them, but if Oikawa didn't even get the chance to play against Shiratorizawa, everything would have been pointless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings are in the end notes to avoid spoilers!

Oikawa is in trouble. A lot of trouble.

They're two weeks out from the Interhigh, and Oikawa is fresh out of pills. They should have lasted, but he was reckless. He took too many too fast. In retrospect it seems impossible that he would use so many, but the more he used the less effective they were. Now, he needed 4 before practice for the pain to even be bearable. Not to mention 2 or 3 in the morning.

It's a bit after 8 now, and Oikawa's walking home from practice alone. Iwaizumi stayed late with some of the first years, and forced Oikawa to go home. He wanted to argue but... he only took 2 pills before practice and his knee was killing him now as the effects wore off.

Oikawa digs his hand in his pockets, finding a slip of paper he forgot he shoved in there. Pulling it out to inspect it, he can barely see the scrawled digits of a phone number under the streetlight. With a sigh, Oikawa pulls his phone out of his other pocket and reluctantly calls the number. He'll figure out a way to get the money, but he needs these pills.

The phone picks up after about five rings, and all Oikawa hears on the other end is chatter and music.

"Hello?" Oikawa says.

"Who's this?" A low and gruff voice answers from the other end.

"Uh, well, I buy from Yori, and he gave me this number for when I need more."

"Aah, Yori. He told me 'bout you. What's your name kid?" The background noise fades a bit, seeming as though the man is walking away from it.

"Oikawa Tooru." He answers simply.

"How much 'ya lookin' to buy?"

"Well, I don't have much money right now so maybe about 50?" Oikawa would have to make that last, he has no other choice.

"I see... why don't you come around and I'll see what I can do for ya?" The man asks, listing off an address and then hanging up without waiting for a response.

Oikawa looks down at his phone, brows furrowed a bit. He has at least an hour before his mom expects him home, and if she asks he could always say he stayed extra late for volleyball. What's the worst that could happen?

Oikawa figures he should probably go home and change, as well as gather whatever money he can before he goes. It's not long until he's in front of his house. The lights in the living room are on, so he should probably sneak in to avoid any questions.

Iwaizumi has snuck into Oikawa's room countless times, so it's not hard to wiggle the bottom floor window open and climb in. His knee groans a bit, but it's nothing he can't handle.

Oikawa drops his bags on the floor, quickly changing out of his tracksuit and into a pair of ripped jeans and a sweater. His hair is still a bit wet from his quick shower, so he uses a towel to get it as dry as possible. Then he sneaks out into the hallway and into his parents room. He knows they keep an envelope of cash in here for emergencies. And they probably wouldn't notice if he took a bit.

Oikawa slips out two hundred dollars, tempted to take more. He decides against it, and leaves quickly before he changes his mind. He climbs back out his window and walks down the street in the direction of the address. It's a house closer to the city.

Once he arrives, he stands by the front door, nervously combing through his hair and adjusting his sweater. Maybe it was a bad idea to wear a sweater with the heat. All of his thoughts are cut off as the door opens unexpectedly. In front of him is a surprisingly young and attractive man. Oikawa's eyebrows raise a bit and his jaw drops slightly.

"You must be Oikawa?" The man says, leaning against the doorway with a sleazy smile on his face. Oikawa's eyes snap back up to make eye-contact, and it was clear he had been caught checking the man out.

"Uh- yeah." Oikawa answers, shutting his gaping mouth.

"You can call me Hashi. Let's talk in my office." The man says, leaning forward and grabbing Oikawa's hand to drag him inside. The house only has a few people inside, sitting on the couch in the living room. The room is a little smokey, obviously from the various bongs in use. There's also a few lines of coke, and Oikawa is pulled past just as someone leans down to snort one.

Oikawa didn't recognize any of the people, maybe hoping to see some of the boys he's bought from. Seemingly everyone here is an adult. Eventually Oikawa and Hashi reach his office, and the door is closed behind them. There isn't a desk or anything, so this 'office' is pretty much just a room with a couch and some shelves in it. Hashi takes a seat in the center of the couch, facing Oikawa who is still standing at the door.

"So, what can I do for you?"

Oikawa scrambles for the right thing to say, eventually landing on, "Oxy."

Hashi laughs, putting his arms up on the back of the couch and spreading his legs out in front of him. "I know that. But, why? Tell me about your situation. And come sit down."

The man is so seemingly harmless that Oikawa doesn't even hesitate to sit down next to him. He's far enough that their legs aren't touching, but he can feel Hashi's fingers occasionally at the base of his neck.

"Um, I play volleyball. In high school. And I injured my knee at the beginning of the season. I can't really afford a break, so I've been using the painkillers to get through practice."

"Yori was right, you have bought a lot. I assume they aren't doing much anymore, hm?" Hashi shamelessly has his hand pressed against Oikawa's neck now, and his thumb is rubbing circles in his hairline. Oikawa looks over at him and nods, eyes downcast.

"When I heard from Yori, and how much you've bought so quick, I figured maybe I could give you a discount." Oikawa looks up hopefully.

"But... I don't think I can do that." The man says, pulling his arm away and standing up. He walks over to a small table across the room and starts doing something that Oikawa can't see.

"What? Why not? I really don't have much money, I would appreciate it so much. Please, I need this." Oikawa stands up and walks toward Hashi a bit, begging and pleading to him.

"I had something else in mind." The sleazy smile on the man's face sends chills down Oikawa's spine. He steps to the side a bit, and on the table is four lines of white powder.

"This is crushed up oxy, laced with snow. If you snort it, the high will be more intense and last longer. Although, the snow is just a little treat for this time." Hashi winks, turning away from Oikawa and snorting two of the lines.

A million thoughts are flying through Oikawa's head right now. Does this mean Hashi is giving him oxy for free? And he's offering him some now, mixed with coke. This might be a bad idea but... it's the only way to win the Inter-high and go to nationals. If that's the case, it's Oikawa's only option. Oikawa doesn't move as he stares wide-eyed at the two remaining lines on the table. When he makes no show to move toward the table, Hashi walks forward and puts his hand on the small of Oikawa's back to guide him forward.

Oikawa squeezes his eyes shut, leaning down and putting his nose up to the powder. Fuck it. He snorts up one line, and flinches at the burning sensation in his nose and throat. It tastes bad but smells good. He feels Hashi's hand rubbing Oikawa's back, and with that comforting presence, Oikawa leans back in and snorts the second line. He's hunched over for maybe a minute before he stumbles back with the intense feeling that overcomes him. His back is pressed up against Hashi's chest, and Oikawa is now painfully aware of how buff and tall the man is.

"Now for your payment." The man whispers into Oikawa's ear before he can feel a wet stripe being licked down his neck. Hashi walks backwards and Oikawa is pulled with him until eventually they stumble onto the couch and Oikawa is seated in the man's lap.

He should protest, do anything to show that he didn't want this. But with the amazing high taking over him, the sensation of relief, he doesn't. Hashi's breath is gross down his neck, and Oikawa wants to push away the clammy hands unbuttoning his pants. He probably could leave, give him the money he has and go. But he doesn't.

Quickly Oikawa's pants and boxers are on the floor, and his dick is hard and leaking in Hashi's hand. The cocaine high heightens all of his senses, and he might explode with just a few strokes. He can feel Hashi's hard-on pushing against his ass, and the combined sensation has Oikawa coming immediately. 

To be completely honest, it's the first time anyone has ever touched Oikawa. Of course there is Iwaizumi... but they had just gotten together. They've never done something like this. Oikawa feels guilt overwhelm him. His relationship with Iwaizumi is so new, so fresh, and he's already ruined it. 

"Aw, no one's ever touched you before, huh baby?" As Hashi speaks, his facial hair scratches against the smooth skin where Oikawa's shoulder and neck meet. Oikawa shakes his head no, and before he realizes it, he has tears streaming down his face. 

This man, who he knows nothing about, is going to take his virginity. Not Iwaizumi, his precious ace.

"Don't worry too much, I'll take good care of you." Oikawa appreciates the sentiment, but there's no way he will enjoy this. It might feel good, but this was supposed to be with Iwaizumi, nobody else.

Hashi carefully shifts Oikawa off his lap and onto his back. He hovers over him before leaning down to kiss away the tears. It's almost sweet, but the dry cracked lips tell him it's not. Iwaizumi's lips are soft and full, fitting perfectly against Oikawa in every way possible.

Oikawa's pants are pulled off from around his ankles, and his sweater comes off over his head. Hashi gets naked too, and before Oikawa knows it, his legs are pushed open to reveal himself. Hashi puts himself in between, and leans forward to put his fingers inside Oikawa's mouth. He has no choice to suck on them, because the better he does lubricating the fingers, the less it will hurt for him later.

As soon as the fingers leave his mouth, he can feel them at his hole, and Oikawa squeezes his eyes shut as they push in. It's two at once, and the only thing that gets him through the pain is the drugs running through his body. Hashi's fingers are inside him for maybe 5 minutes before they're being replaced by something much thicker. Hashi enters Oikawa in one quick thrust, and Oikawa cries out at the pain. Hashi slows for a second before continuing a brutal intense pace. 

Oikawa is still crying, but he just throws an arm over his eyes and takes it. There isn't much he can do; he needs to do this for the team. He can't play without the drugs, and if this is what needs to be done to get the drugs, then so be it.

It lasts for about fifteen minutes, ending with a few thrusts with no rhythm and then Hashi pulls out and comes all over Oikawa's chest. He leans down and places sloppy kisses on Oikawa's lips, which he returns with as much enthusiasm as he can.

Hashi stands up, stretching a bit before walking out of the room. Oikawa just sits and stares at the ceiling for a bit, basking in his own guilt and shame. When Oikawa started, he never planned for something like this to happen. He was supposed to limit and control how much he took, but sometimes even strong-willed people like Oikawa succumb to substances.

His mind is moving so fast, and he feels light headed as he sits up. He tries to pull up his underwear and pants, but his ass is sore and there’s cum all over his thighs and stomach. He leans back stubbornly, waiting for Hashi to come back. When Hashi enters the room, he has a washcloth, and a bottle of vodka. He hands the washcloth to Oikawa before sitting down and taking a few gulps from the bottle. 

Oikawa is left to clean up the mess painted all over him, being gentle but haste. When he's cleaned up, he quickly finishes pulling up his pants, and putting his sweater and shoes on. He looks over at Hashi, who holds out the bottle by its neck. There is only a little bit left, probably a few shots worth. Oikawa grabs it, chugging the rest. If Iwaizumi ever found out about this... Oikawa's life would be over. They would break up, never talk again, and ruin their chance at nationals. Oikawa can't let that happen.

Hashi digs around in the new pair of pants he has on, pulling a small pill bottle out of his pants. He tosses them at Oikawa and he catches them with shaky hands. He briefly opens the bottle to see about 20 inside. This will barely last him a few days...

"Come back when you run out." Hashi says, winking. Oikawa swallows down a gulp, closing the bottle and shoving them in his pocket.

"Thank you." Oikawa chokes out, trying not to cry all over again. When did his life become this? Selling his body for a couple days worth of pills... it's pathetic. He turns to leave the room, stumbling out of the house and back home. It's almost ten now, but he has no messages from Iwaizumi or his mom, which means he's in the clear. His mom greets him when he gets home, and he manages a half-assed smile before dragging himself upstairs. He takes another shower, scrubbing for what seems like forever at his skin. Once it's raw and colored red, he gets out and gets dressed in one of Iwaizumi's t-shirts that was left here. He snuggles up into his bed and tries to sleep, but ultimately gets none as thoughts of Iwaizumi and volleyball plague his mind.

-

Aoba Johsai wins against Karasuno. Oikawa, Iwaizumi, and the rest of the team feel on top of the world. It was a victory that everyone watching expected, not understanding truly how hard of a fight it was.

Oikawa figured that, maybe, just maybe they could beat Shiratorizawa. The team was in better shape than ever before, and Oikawa felt better on the court since he stopped swallowing his pills and began taking them through his nose. Nobody suspected anything, except maybe Iwaizumi. However, if he did expect something, he didn't let that be known. Seemingly, their relationship was great.

The only time Oikawa didn't spend with Iwaizumi was when he was snorting powder or spending time with Hashi to get more pills. He'd only been back there twice since the first. Hashi was right, snorting the pills in powder form was more effective, and he wasn't using as much.

It's before the game against Shiratorizawa. Oikawa can hear all the cheers and shouts from whatever game is going on right now from the locker rooms of the arena. He's alone, his team already on their way to the court. He probably has a few minutes before another team comes to use the locker room, so he is quick to carry out his business.

Oikawa pours some crushed powder out of a plastic bag and onto the counter, dividing it into a few thin lines. He leans down to sniff it up, and halfway through his second line the door opens.

"Oikawa, what the fuck are you doing?!" Iwaizumi yells, and the door slams shut behind him. Oikawa clenches his fist, still hunched over the messy scene in front of him. He can't bear to look back at Iwaizumi as he can't help but begin to cry. Oikawa flinches at the touch of Iwaizumi's big hand on his shoulder, but allows himself to be pulled into the warm embrace. He's sobbing at this point, the intensity of the cry wracking through his body.

Maybe Iwaizumi wouldn't hate him, and maybe they could get through this. Oikawa wouldn't be alone anymore, and just that thought was enough to lift a huge weight off his shoulders. Iwaizumi rubs soothing circles on his back. This isn't the first time Oikawa has cried like this in Iwaizumi's arms, and it probably won't be the last.

"I'm having you benched for the game." Iwaizumi speaks softly but sternly to Oikawa. Oikawa loses his breath, and his heart beat picks up considerably. He pushes Iwaizumi away, looking at him with horror in his eye.

"Iwa-chan you... you can't do that to me." Oikawa whimpers, clearly defeated. "Not after everything I've done." He chokes out, shoulders shaking as another sob comes out. Iwaizumi's eyes are wide and he looks confused.

"What did you do, Oikawa?" Iwaizumi seems concerned, and Oikawa wants nothing more than to just tell him.

"You'll hate me."

"Never." The words feel like a punch to Oikawa's guts, and the immense feeling of dread and sadness is a confusing sensation compared to how much oxy he's been doing, and the couple lines of coke he's done with Hashi. 

"I- I slept with someone. Three times now. I ran out of money and... yeah." Iwaizumi looks absolutely betrayed. It proved difficult for Oikawa to stop crying and keep some semblance of composure.

"Shittykawa! Why didn't you tell me! I could have- I would have helped! You didn't have to go through all of this alone!" Iwaizumi is shouting, and his voice cracks more than once. Of course Iwaizumi would blame himself. Iwaizumi pushes Oikawa to the side, sweeping the white powder off the counter in anger.

"What even is this? What have you gotten yourself into?" Iwaizumi sounds less angry now and more... broken. This was the last thing Oikawa wanted. It would have hurt less if Iwaizumi just blamed Oikawa, broke up with him, and they could go there separate ways. But of course, he should have known that would never be the way with Iwaizumi.

"Just oxy... it's really not all that bad Iwa-chan. I'll stop after this tournament, I promise." It was obvious how big of a lie that was, Oikawa couldn't even convince himself of the words coming out of his mouth.

"How long? Since the practice match? I thought something was going on..." Iwaizumi clenches his fists. Oikawa doesn't respond, looking down shamefully. Iwaizumi's eyes widen even more at the connotation of Oikawa's body language.

"Since even before that, then." Iwaizumi sighs.

"I'm playing this game, Iwa-chan." Oikawa states, looking up with pathetically red eyes and wet cheeks.

"No, you're not." Iwaizumi says stubbornly. Oikawa figured this would happen, but if anyone knew Iwaizumi, it was him. Their whole lives, Oikawa always listened to Iwaizumi. For the most part, did what he said. But, occasionally Oikawa would stand his ground. Like after Oikawa fell during the practice game. Oikawa just needed to break him, and then Iwaizumi would have no choice but to step down. Oikawa moves forward to pin Iwaizumi against the counter, caging him in with his arms and legs.

It would hurt both of them, but if Oikawa didn't even get the chance to play against Shiratorizawa, everything would have been pointless.

"Hajime, I'm playing this game, and we're going to win," He breathes in deeply, "Then we're going to move onto Nationals and you won't tell anybody what you saw. Understand?" It took all the air in his lungs to keep his voice steady and not cry, but he managed.

Whenever this happens, usually Iwaizumi powers down and lets Oikawa be. This time, his face twists up with even more anger, and he grabs onto Oikawa's shirt and shoves him back. Oikawa almost falls, but the bench behind them keeps him steady.

"I fucking hate you." Iwaizumi growls out, pushing past Oikawa and leaving the locker room.

-

Obviously, they lost against Shiratorizawa in the final round of the Inter-high. The whole team was relying on Oikawa and Iwaizumi, but they couldn't connect after what happened in the locker room. There was a lot of crying and frustration, but no one mentioned the elephant in the room.

When Oikawa gets home, he flushes any powder or pills he had. He wouldn't go back to Hashi, and he prayed to god he wouldn't try to get in contact. Laying in bed, it all seems so grim. What started as a harmless way to get through practice turned into an addiction that ruined his relationship with Iwaizumi and cost them Nationals. There probably wouldn't be much to look forward to next season. All of his teammates probably hate him and he'll be benched on medical inevitably. The chance of them beating Karasuno again and Shiratorizawa were nonexistent.

There's a knock on Oikawa's window. He can't see much from his bed in the dark, but it's obvious Iwaizumi is waiting. Oikawa sighs, pulling himself out of bed and limping to the window. The pain from his knee is almost unbearable, but there is no use avoiding it now. Oikawa opens up the window, stepping back for Iwaizumi to come in. They don't exchange many words; silence hangs over the room and Iwaizumi takes off his sneakers, jeans, and jacket to climb into bed with Oikawa. He holds Oikawa tight to his chest until they both drift off to sleep.

As usual, they know each other too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: explicit depictions of dubcon, underage sex (oikawa is about 17/18), and sex under the influence. 
> 
> this is beta'ed by my sexy friend floorpotato
> 
> please comment!!!

**Author's Note:**

> buckle your seatbelts and prepare for the absolute shit storm that is chapter 2.
> 
> btw, this is beta'ed by my sexy friend, floorpotato
> 
> feel free to leave comments and critiques!!!


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